Upcoming Events:
Brie teaches an infant massage class every Tuesday morning at Scripps Mende Well Being located in UTC.
Contact her for more information on this overview course.
Click Here For Map
Brie also teaches a more comprehensive 4 week course at the
Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center
Contact her to learn when the next program begins.
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Promoting your baby's secure attachment
The formation of attachment between parent/caregiver and child signifies a deep connection that is truly unique to this relationship. When a baby is securely attached, she is confident that her needs will be met and feels safe enveloped in a relationship of commitment and devotion. Securely attached babies trust that both their emotional and physical needs will be provided for and believe that comfort is just around the bend when distressed or upset.
When defining secure attachment, the notion of attunement certainly comes into play to indicate the neurobiological connection between caregiver and child. Periods of attunement create the necessary shared emotional experience for caregiver and child to connect and feel understood. Many refer to attunement as a “dance” in which a dialogue takes place between you and your baby. She provides a cue or behavior to elicit a response, you respond appropriately under an umbrella of understanding and commitment. She internalizes this message and then continues this conversation in order to keep the dance flowing. The two of you sway back and forth to engage one another, to communicate, and to express needs or desires. Without attunement, a child is likely to grow up feeling unsafe, insecure, and have difficulty regulating their own emotions. When attunement evolves, so does the relationship between parent and child and thereby facilitating the child’s growth, confidence, and sense of self.
Becoming an attuned parent is not something that is achieved overnight. It takes time, patience, and commitment to deeply understand and tune into your child’s non-verbal dialogue. Sound impossible? Perfection certainly is. “Misattunement” or occasions in which we become disconnected arise continually throughout our relationships. Rather than only experience these moments with regret, it is important to note that when we find ourselves confused, anxious, or poorly responsive to our child’s needs- a new opportunity has blossomed. The opportunity to re-connect and to rebalance the dynamic between parent and child is equally important for the process of attachment.
When a parent remains sensitive to a child’s needs, provides acceptance rather than rejection, and creates a harmonic, give-and-take relationship where the rhythm of the relationship is both felt and heard, the child ultimately feels the beauty of love and security. Furthermore when a parent is mindfully aware and present with their child, while emitting an emotional accessibility that reflects the energy that they are truly listening, the child is left with little doubt that they will ever go unheard.
Why Infant Massage?
Two primary factors for facilitating attachment with your baby is the sensitivity in which you respond to your baby’s cues and needs and the consistency in which you promptly provide these responses. When parents embark on the journey of providing ritualistic massage in their home, these two dynamics are continually in place.
First, during massage, parents are asked to always respond to their infants’ needs. These needs might be a quick changing, to be fed, or to simply be held for a moment to re-connect. Parents are encouraged to treat this time like any other: to share in conversation, but to always be mindful of their ever-changing needs and to promptly and sensitively respond to them.
Furthermore, massage serves as the opportunity for parents to tune into and respond to the changing facial expressions, body language, eye, contact, or cues that speak of their child's needs. Through massage, parents hone their attuned parenting skills that enable them to better read or interpret the cues their infants are displaying and respond to them more effectively.
Second, when massage becomes part of their daily routine, care and communication takes place on a consistent, continual basis. The child grows to understand that the time when he and his caregiver come together is truly significant and meaningful. Massage serves as the time to solidify that bond and enable your child to feel listened to, respected, and nurtured.
Resources:
Aisnworth, M.S. & Witting, B.A. (1969) Attachment and exploratory behavior of one- year-olds in strange situations. In B.M. Foss (Ed.) Determinants of infant behavior (Vol. IV, pp. 111-360). London, England: Mehtuen.
Ainsworth, M.D.S. (1979). Attachment as related to mother-infant interaction. In J.S. Rosenblatt, R.A. Hinde, C. Beer, & M. Busnel (Eds.), Advances in the study of behavior (Vol. 9, pp. 1-51). New York: Academic Press.
Bornstein, M.H. (1989) Maternal responsiveness: Characteristics and consequences. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. New York: Basic Books.
Bowlby, J. (1988) A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. New York: Basic Books.
George, C., Kaplan, N., & Main, M. (1985). Adult attachment interview. Unpublished manuscript, University of California, Berekely.
Further reading:
www.attachmentparenting.org
www.awareparenting.org
www.askdrsears.com
www.healthyfamily.org
www.childtrauma.org
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